#but he never was in the dh series

[styxxanaxkolasidefender]

I like how everyone has agreed that Caleb is a POC icon

Preach

[neverenoughmarauders]

Lily's meaningless sacrifice

One thing that irks me is when people suggest that in canon, Lily had any idea that Harry would survive (this is merely a canon post, nothing to do with fanfiction). It irks me, partly because it's just incorrect and that's the sort of person I am. More importantly, however, it irks me because Lily not stepping aside when she had nothing to gain from dying is fundamental to the story.

Let's start with JKR own words from an interview in 2005:

MA: Did she know anything about the possible effect of standing in front of Harry? JKR: No - because as I've tried to make clear in the series, it never happened before. No one ever survived before. And no one, therefore, knew that could happen.

Lily knew nothing about the possible effect of standing in front of Harry. Lily was faced with this choice:

Scenario 1: Steps aside, and Harry is killed.

Scenario 2: Be killed, and Harry is killed.

Scenario 1 is (on the surface) objectively better (unless you're a DE and thus want less muggle-borns around). To Voldemort, it's a simple choice: In both scenarios Harry will die, in one, Lily will survive. In fact, this is what makes a lot of people defend Severus' choice to only ask Voldemort to spare Lily. Severus could not save Harry (and apparently it's totally cool not trying to save others if they bullied you).

Lily could not save Harry.

Lily's choice, as far as she is aware, is not whether to save Harry or not, but whether to save herself. And yet, Lily cannot stand aside. As JKR points out earlier in the interview, what Lily did is not that surprising to us readers ("I don't think any mother would stand aside from their child"). Why? Love. Because, as Dumbledore reminds us on multiple occasions: there are worse things than death - most notably in DH:

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love."

Love, and life with and without love is an undercurrent in the story. Lily's sacrifice is meaningless when made, and yet it's the biggest and most understandable expression of love anyone can show someone else. Lily cannot, and does not want to, live in a world where she has witnessed her son being murdered - especially when her husband has been murdered too. A world without Harry and James is no world for Lily Potter.

It is also - bear with me - not that different from what it was like to be in the Order at that time:

[Y]ou weren’t in the Order then, you don’t understand, last time we were outnumbered twenty to one by the Death Eaters and they were picking us off one by one...

“He — he was taking over everywhere!” gasped Pettigrew. “Wh — what was there to be gained by refusing him?”

The Order operated against the odds and were being picked off one by one. As Peter asks - what was there to be gained by refusing him? What was there to be gained from standing (metaphorically or not) in front of Voldemort's victims? I've said this before and I'll say it again, Sirius' answer is powerful:

“What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?” said Black, with a terribly fury in his face. “Only innocent lives, Peter!” “You don’t understand!” whined Pettigrew. “He would have killed me, Sirius!” “THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!” roared Black.

Only innocent lives. They weren't fighting this war because they were winning. In fact they were very much losing. But they were fighting because it was right thing to do. Many Order members chose to die, rather than to step aside and let Voldemort take over. Only in their case it didn't make a difference - or at least, it didn't feel like it at the time. Members were murdered, and Voldemort was just getting stronger and stronger.

What was there to be gained by refusing Voldemort?

I firmly believe this is a theme that is repeated throughout the book: not just love and choice, but the obligation to choose what is right, no matter the odds (the irony that this was written by JKR will never be lost on me), and how love is a powerful motivator to do just that. Doing the right thing might seem hopeless in the moment - wasteful even - but that doesn't mean it's not worth doing, or that in the end, it won't add up.

Imagine what Harry felt like at the end of PS/SS when he risked his life to stop Voldemort, only to realise that Voldemort would keep trying to come back:

“Well, Voldemort’s going to try other ways of coming back, isn’t he? I mean, he hasn’t gone, has he?” “No, Harry, he has not. (...) Nevertheless, Harry, while you may only have delayed his return to power, it will merely take someone else who is prepared to fight what seems a losing battle next time — and if he is delayed again, and again, why, he may never return to power.”

Harry Potter isn't about doing the right thing because it will bring you rewards, but because it is the right thing.

“Remember Cedric. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory.”

This speech doesn't sit well with a few people because it sounds like you're asked to remember what happened to someone who did do the right thing (spoiler: he died). But that's not the point, of course. Cedric wasn't killed for doing the right thing or making a hard choice - Dumbledore asks the students to remember Cedric because the enemy is willing to kill innocent people indiscriminately. Standing aside will not be good enough against people like Voldemort. There is, as Dumbledore put it, a need to keep fighting what seems a losing battle. Why? Only innocent lives.

Both James and Lily die that evening because they are unwilling to let Voldemort near their innocent son as long as there is breath in their bodies. James had no choice (this irks me because he did, he could have run away - he could have not fought Voldemort in the Order to being with. They all had a choice, but not the point). Lily had a choice. And she chose, like many had before her, to fight what seemed like a losing battle. She died, not knowing that she had saved her son. Her sacrifice was meaningless - like so many before her - and yet her sacrifice changed the world.

In the end, by choosing to do what was right, she was granted the wish she most desired: Her son lived.

[arliedraws]

Why sirius death was a good narrative? (Just curious)

Ah, well, in short, he was too smart and he cared too much for Harry. So maybe it’s more of a “the author created too powerful of a character and had to walk that back.” This is why Sirius has to be miserable in OotP when he was actually doing ok in GoF!

If Sirius had lived, he would have been part of the Horcrux hunt. First of all, that’s a problem narratively because I doubt half of the mistakes or moves the trio made would have happened if they had someone who was a veteran of the first war guiding them. Plus, Sirius would have probably figured out how to get each Horcrux faster and destroy each one with expediency.

He knew too much. Harry’s emotional dilemma about Dumbledore in DH would have been solved too quickly. If Sirius knew that Dumbledore was friends with Grindelwald (evidenced from Lily’s letter), Sirius could have walked Harry through his complicated feelings. The storyline of Harry learning that his heroes are fallible would have been almost completely derailed, in my opinion, because no matter how much Dumbledore betrayed Sirius, Sirius still deferred to Dumbledore’s leadership and authority.

Because friendship is the core theme of the books, we would’ve lost the testing of the relationship between the trio. If an adult or mentor had been there to talk reason between the arguing kids, Ron probably never would have left.

The series is about children saving the day, not adults. It’s also the reason why Dumbledore had to die too.

If Sirius were to have lived, you would have needed to incapacitate him even more to keep him from solving these problems. In the end, OotP was a brutal lesson for Harry about communication and trust. As much as he loved Sirius, he didn’t trust Sirius in the end. He loved Sirius so much and was so terrified of losing him, he withdrew to keep him safe, but that withdrawal made them both miserable (obviously). If both Harry and Sirius had been honest with each other, Sirius wouldn’t have been killed the way he was. But that was what Voldemort wanted—he wanted Harry to feel alone! It is so much easier to manipulate people who feel alienated. Anyway, it’s a devastating storyline, but I do think it works well narratively.

[greenerteacups]

I wonder often why Deathly Hallows as a book is so fascinated with wandcraft and wandlore, especially after the series has spent six volumes being more or less disinterested in it (with the exception of the Twin Cores plot in Book 4). A weirdly high % of the plot depends on who owns whose wand and why: the wand mixup with the Snatchers, Harry's wand being broken, Draco's wand, Bellatrix's wand, and of course, the final rigmarole over who's the "rightful master" of the Elder Wand, which ends up being a weird combination of killing/disarming/fist-fight to disarm someone who... wasn't even wielding the Elder Wand at the time he was disarmed, which begs the question of what it counts to "disarm" someone of a weapon they're not technically wielding? Also, are we to assume that Dumbledore was not disarmed once in the N years since his fight with Grindlewald? Or — here's a harder one — that Draco wasn't disarmed once between Dumbledore's death and his fight with Harry? That's plausible, but it's kind of weird that I need to believe it for the rest of the plot to make sense.

And like, I can think of a few Doylist reasons for this to be the case. The first is that JKR wants Voldemort to kill Snape in the boathouse, which allows Harry to get Snape's memories and retroactively justify why Snape's acted this way since PoA (and explain where the sword comes from in the lake in DH, too). I can think of better, more character-driven reasons for him to kill Snape (just... blow Snape's cover? reveal him as a double agent? have him try to kill Nagini? idk), but let's suppose, for subtextual reasons, she wants Voldemort to think Snape was loyal to the end. Having him die by Nagini's hand muddies the already-opaque water of what constitutes "disarming," because Nagini is a living creature. What if I drop someone into a pool of piranhas? Do I get their wand? Yeah, Voldemort commands her, but then — okay, what if I Imperius someone and make them disarm someone else? I get that it's not like DH has time for Harry to sit down with Ollivander and go through all of the tiny procedural rules for wand usage, but also, are these not relevant questions? Is this not the central mechanic of the final battle, this one piece of magic? Am I not supposed to wonder how it works?

The other reason I can imagine is that Harry wins a duel against Voldemort 1v1, which is not terribly believable unless there's some kind of magical advantage working in his favor. We know the Elder Wand's failure to execute the Cruciatus means Harry can't be harmed by spells the Elder casts, because it's his "true master." This is a really weird quirk in wandlore — why does it work this way? Is it the only wand that works this way? By that logic, shouldn't everyone Harry disarms be incapable of casting spells on him? — that emerges in Book 7, apparently for the purpose of giving Harry a buff in the final duel. Functionally, that's weird, because on a technical level it works the same way as Lily's protection — it's a reason that Voldemort can't hurt him. So why get rid of Lily's protection at all? It's not like he duels Voldemort between Book 4 and Book 7. The graveyard scene artificially hikes the stakes for Harry by making him physically vulnerable, pretty much only so he can die at the end of DH... except again, not for real, because Voldemort only ends up killing the piece of Harry that's a horcrux, so it doesn't even count!

And then Harry replaces the wand in Dumbledore's tomb. Which would be a nice moment if the lore hadn't established that anyone who disarms Harry, ever, will become the master of the Elder Wand by default. Harry knows this. He also knows that this knowledge is out there in the world; sure, Grindlewald's dead now, but do we think that Grindlewald never told anyone else about the Elder Wand? And he learned about it from somewhere, didn't he? So Harry might naturally assume that someone else would eventually come looking, in which case Dumbledore's tomb is far from the safest place to put this equivalent of a wizarding nuke. (Not that it seems to be all that powerful anyway; the coolest thing it does is fix Harry's other wand, and we're left wondering why the Elder Wand is considered "unbeatable" when people who own it seem to be getting disarmed all over the fucking place.)

Also, in retrospect, this makes it incredibly odd that Dumbledore allows Draco to disarm him, because he's giving the Wizarding Nuke to a 16-year-old servant of Lord Voldemort. Suppose that he's trying to prevent Snape from getting the wand, because he doesn't want Snape to be a target: okay, fine, but does he know Draco's going to give Snape credit for the kill? What if Draco lies? What if LV just... accepts the fact that the wand recognizes Expelliarmus as a point of transfer, and either disarms or kills Draco? And in any case, no matter what the answers to these questions are, why didn't he just ask Harry to disarm him before he went to the lake?

I'm usually not one to be an asshole about plot holes — mostly because, taken by themselves, I don't find them that interesting — but they become interesting to me when I see several of them in the same vein, because they tell me that the author's trying to do something. And they want to do it so badly they're willing to strain other parts of the story to make it happen.

[four2andnew]

Canon Couples and the Random Heights I Assigned Them

Just because I recently re-read this post and it's on my mind. Here's what I think these canon couples' final heights came to be and some justifications behind my thought process, as well as some headcanons. Let's start with my OTP -

Harry (6'1") and Ginny (5'0")

I'm kinda obsessed with the idea that 17yo Harry being the same height as his 21yo deceased father would grow just a couple more inches

Ginny being 5ft fits with her being the noticeably "smallest one" in the DoM during OOTP and with Harry being able to easily look over her head during the infamous First Kiss scene in HBP, putting her head at chest height of Harry (as of HBP)

Ginny is the only one who knows about Harry's petty satisfaction when he ran into Draco Malfoy some years after the war and realized he had continued to grow and Malfoy hadn't

James (5'11") and Lily (5'8")

Because they're both tall enough to be considered "tall", but not the kind of tall that is shocking

Lily being 5'8" makes her tall enough to have to look down at 14yo Harry in the graveyard scene of GOF

Ron (6'5") and Hermione (5'8")

In order for Fred and George to be "shorter and stockier" than 14yo Ron, but still slightly over 6ft so as to shrink to 5'11" in DH, I have to assume Ron's final height came to be one that most people would put in the "Holy shit you're tall" category

I know I'm going to get shouted at for Hermione's height, because she's never described as particularly tall in the books HOWEVER she's never described as particularly short either, just shorter than Harry

This 9 inch height difference give Ron & Hermione the perfect height difference for Ron to comfortably rest his chin on her head without having to hunch over awkwardly like Harry does with Ginny, so I'm sticking to it

Arthur (5'11") and Molly (4'11")

I know the movies made Arthur short and round, but he was described as thin in the books and all the Weasley boys wind up being pretty tall, so they had to get that from somewhere.

Molly is consistently described as short and dumpy throughout the series, and while Ginny is often compared to Molly physically, I just like the idea that Ginny managed to grow that extra inch that Molly never did.

Draco (6'0") and Astoria (5'11")

we know in DH Draco was slightly taller than Harry at the Malfoy Manor scene (p.457, U.S. edition of DH), so if we assume the like linked post above that Harry was 5'11" during DH, then I'd put Draco at 6 foot.

we literally know nothing about Astoria (CC doesn't count), but I picked 5'11" because it is the curse of all tall women to wind up with men roughly the same height

Lucius (5'10") and Narcissa (5'10")

we know Harry and Narcissa are the same height in HBP, so I put her at 5'10"

correct me if I'm wrong, but Lucius is never described as particularly tall, while Narcissa is. And of course, tall for a woman is average for a man. I put Lucius to be around around the same height as Narcissa because I just don't see Lucius' personality allowing him to be with a woman taller than himself.

also, see the curse of tall women above

[emeritusemeritus]

No Good Deed [George Weasley x Reader]

Part 9 (final)

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Pairing: {George Weasley x Reader} mentions of previous Fred Weasley x Reader.

Timeline: Set a few years after DH, loosely following Canon.

Summary: A few years after Fred’s death, the investors of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes demand changes to the name. All it would take is two years of a fake marriage to fix the issues, but no good deed goes unpunished.

Warnings: Fake marriage trope because we love the cliché. Mentions of death (Fred). Friends to lovers. Slow burn but mentions of kissing and eventual smut. Swearing. George calls us Angel. Drinking. SMUT. The smut has arrived! P in V, oral (both). Angst, sadness, grief. Mentions of cheating, infidelity. Tags will be updated with each chapter. Not Beta-read or spell checked.

The final chapter of this whirlwind story 🖤

In complete contrast to the bustling crowd and noisy room of chattering people, Diagon Alley was practically deserted at this late hour, the shops king since closed with only the hospitality locations open. Looking up at the familiar orange building, you pulled out your wand and cast the series of spells to unlock the protective enchantments before stepping inside and locking back up. You slipped out of your heels by clinging onto the stair rail before scooping them up in your hands and carrying them with you as you ascended the stairs, for once knowing exactly what you needed.

You knew if you returned to the flat George would immediately find you before you could have the chance to clear your head, to work out what you wanted and what you needed to say. There was only one thing that would bring you comfort now and as if you were completely on autopilot, you climbed the stairs and entered the flat above the shop.

It was different to how you remembered it, much emptier now then how it had been so many years ago, of course due to most of George's practical things being at your flat. You paused, standing outside the first door on the left after the little closer and hovered your hand across the doorknob, taking a deep breath to stabilise yourself before you slowly opened the door. Fred's room.

It was almost exactly as you remembered it though it was lifeless and the air was a little stale, a natural consequence of it being shut up for so long. Paperwork, scattered notes still littered the desk, along with a myriad of bits and bobs that he used whilst working on his new projects. The bed was made, the mismatch of random sheets and covers making you smile as they looked so perfectly Fred, so much so that you couldn't help but walk over and run your hand over the soft fabric, remembering how it had felt against your skin so long ago. Just like George, he had a large dresser against the back wall, almost like a complete mirror of George's room layout in reverse and you found yourself drawn to it almost immediately.

You opened a drawer and reached inside, feeling tears welling up in your eyes at the sight. His green 'F' jumper, knitted so many years ago by Molly, folded neatly into the drawer, right on top. You pulled it out and held it up to your face, desperately searching for the smell you remembered. It still smelt like him, though it was faint. The sugary sweet smell mixed with a natural musk and a side note of smoke, like a marshmallow that had been toasted a little too long. It mixed deliciously with the scent of Molly's washing powder concoction and blended all together to create the exact smell of Fred. Sweet and smoky, warm and comforting, just like him.

Tears streamed silently down your face as you held the jumper up to your face, never wanting to stop smelling the scent that filled your nose and your mind, so desperately wanting to feel him surround you. You took a seat on the creaky chair at his desk, still clutching the jumper tightly as you allowed yourself a little cry, though you weren't quite sure what you were crying for. Was it Freddie? A longing for simpler times when it was just the three of you without any complications. Was it George, and the events that had happened? Seeing him with someone else or his declaration of love that had felt so vividly real? Either way, your mind was a complete mush of emotion and memories, everything seeming to haunt you in that moment.

"I'm so sorry Freddie," you said out loud, tears still streaming down your face. "I just wanted to help. I couldn't let them take this away from George, not when he'd already lost so much. We both have."

You knew it was pointless to have a conversation with him, to speak to him as if he was there, as if he'd reply to you but in that moment, it helped. There was so much you needed to say to him that it seemed like the perfect time to unload your feelings.

"It's ridiculous isn't it, I'm completely pathetic. You'd tell me wouldn't you? Tell me I was being a prat, to just talk to him, 'it's not like he's going to petrify you'," you laughed through your tears, imagining the words coming out of Fred's mouth. "I miss you so much." More tears flowed as you spoke the words out loud, the silence of the room only highlighting your loss.

You were about to speak again when a picture on the desk caught your eye, one you'd never seen before. It was taken on Christmas Day at Grimmauld Place, just after Arthur had gotten home from St Mungo's. It was you, Fred and George, all dressed in your Christmas gifts from Molly and Arthur, the matching scarves for the twins and your own though yours was slightly darker in colour with your initial stitched into the flowing bit at the bottom. You were all smiling and laughing together, though you couldn't remember what about, huddled together around the fire in the lounge. You were looking at Fred and belly laughing, hunched over a little and resting your head against his shoulder. Fred looked completely elated, eyes almost closed in laughter, from the looks of it he was the instigator, as per usual. George was looking at you, openly cracking up with laughter but his eyes were focused in on you, his hand on your shoulder.

That one photo alone had seemed to give you complete clarity. It had cleared your head of all complications and all the events of the night, the good and the bad, and had transported you back to the time you were happiest, forcing you to realise what was truly important.

"How the bloody hell do you always know how to get me?" You mumbled with a smirk, speaking to Fred again as you tore yourself away from the photo. You knew what had to be done now, the time spent amongst Fred's things giving you the adjustment you needed to realise what your priorities should be. You stood up and walked over to the drawer, folding up the jumper and pressing a kiss to the embroidered F on the front before you placed it back into the drawer.

Closing the door behind you felt like closing another chapter in your life, a parting of ways of your old self as you prepared for what needed to be done. You walked out of the shop, stopping to place your heels on and locked up before apparating away back to your flat.

"Angel?" You heard almost as soon as your feet touched the ground. He sounded a mixture of relieved and panicked as he stepped into view, calling out for you. "Angel, I was so worried."

He reaches out as if he's going to pull you in to his arms but stops himself, knowing that you might not want him anywhere near you after the events earlier. He sees the messed up makeup on your face, no doubt fat tear marks littering your cheeks and his face immediately drops.

"I'm so sorry, I know you saw everything and I can't tell you how sorry I am. I never should have been up there with her, I realise it was stupid now but I really believed her little tale about the thestral thrashers- not that that's important now." He cuts himself off, realising he was waffling but you could hardly listen to him, too occupied by the genuinely remorseful look in his eyes. He looked more devastated than you did, and that was saying something. "I know our marriage is... complicated... but I would never do anything like that to you, I just couldn't."

His words hang in the air for a few moments as you'd process them, believing his every word.

"I know," you say quietly, the first time you'd spoken since arriving home.

"I know you might not believe me and- wait," he says, realising what you said. "You really believe me?"

"Yes George," you say stepping forward to reach out for him. Like an involuntary response, he pulls you in to his arms, never once taking his eyes off your face. There's a few moments that pass as you hold on to each other in comfortable silence and it's like the tension, the hurt and the distance between you had disappeared instantly in that moment. Water under the bridge, you thought.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around much, I've barely had time to sleep in between running the shop, sorting the new lines and getting the investors off my back," he admits with a bashful smile, stroking your hair as you hold on to each other.

"I could have helped you," you say, enjoying the soft material of his suit against your bare arms.

"I already ask too much of you," he says with a dismissive shrug, though his tone is light.

"I'm your wife," you say with your own shrug, and a smile, as if it was the most natural excuse in the word.

"Yeah, you are," he replies with a wide smile, still stroking your hair, as if the information had slowly sunk in, making him realise that you'd do anything for him.

"I have to ask," you say softly, gently pulling away and walking him over to the sofa by your joined hands until you're seated with your legs grazing one another.

"Anything," he says honestly.

"What happened?" You ask quietly, trying to keep the emotions out of your voice but some slipped through. "The honeymoon was, well it was perfect but then everything stopped. You didn't touch me anymore, hardly looked at me, what did I do?"

He looks up at you with a look of complete heartbreak at your final question and he scoots across the sofa to grab your legs, making sure you were focused on him as his right hand comes up to cup your face and jaw.

"You didn't do anything Angel, it was perfect but I was being selfish," he explains, his eyes imploring yours as if he needs you to know that it wasn't your fault. "When I accidentally called you, that, well I realised how insensitive I was being, how I'd let myself get carried away with the whole thing. You agreed to marry me for the sake of the business, it was never meant to be more but I couldn't help myself. I'd gone too far and I'd not considered your feelings, so I pulled away to make things less complicated."

"Which complicated things," you retort, a slight smirk tugging at your mouth. He snorts and nods as he takes in your words.

"I realise now that it was a stupid idea," he answers truthfully, still gently nodding. "I just didn't want you to feel any pressure to you know... with me. The last thing I'd ever want was to feel like an obligation, especially if you weren't into me."

You can't help but let out a little snort through your nose at his words, realising how completely wrong he'd got it.

"Yeah because I don't want to have sex with the boy I've fancied since fourth year," you sarcastically retort with a slight roll of your eyes and a smirk.

You wished you could have recorded George's reaction to your words so that you could replay it over and over again for the rest of your life. He chokes on nothing, eyes bulging as he stares at you in complete shock.

"You.. what?"

"What?" You ask, not sure what part he was questioning.

"We've been married for nearly six months, friends for well over a decade and this is the first time I'm hearing about this?" He looks utterly bewildered and it's all you can do not to chuckle, though that would probably not be the right reaction for this moment. "That would have been very helpful to know six months ago," he says, slowly becoming less shocked and more smiley. You smile back at him and nod, realising that you should have just told him, even if you ran the risk of losing him like you'd always feared.

"I was terrified of losing you, or making things awkward," you admit, "the last thing I ever wanted was to make things uncomfortable between us."

"Wait, what about Fred?" He asks, suddenly remembering your past situation-ship with his twin.

This time, you reach out for George's leg, trying to force the words out that you knew needed to be said after taking a big breath.

"Fred knew I liked you, he used to tease me about it incessantly, he figured it out just before fifth year," you say with a smile, memories of his teasing flashing in your mind as he realised not long after their trip to Egypt just how hung up on his twin you were. "But you never seemed to notice me, at least not like that. But then you asked Angelina to the ball and I was so upset, I knew then that you'd never look at me like that. Fred came to comfort me and we ended up drinking this huge bottle of fire whiskey and he asked me to the ball, though I always knew it was more of a pity date he always insisted that it wasn't." You paused, thinking of the picture in your memory box of you all at the Yule Ball. "Watching you dance with Angelina, you just looked so happy and it killed me."

You paused to take a breath, trying not to cry as you thought back to that night and how painful it had been to see him look so happy with someone else.

"Fred kissed me that night, told me I was beautiful. He knew he wasn't a replacement for you but he was the 'next best thing'," you air quoted him, hearing his voice so clearly, a chuckle falling from your lips. "It was never really supposed to go anywhere past that one night together but I guess we became friends with benefits and though I did have feelings for him, it was always you. He knew that, it's why we were never truly together. But then you found out about us and we realised that it had pushed you further away, I'd never get a chance with you after that so we tried to make the most of it but we could never really be together. I always wanted you."

He was silent as he listened to you, which only made you want to fill the somewhat awkward gaps in the conversation but you don't, knowing nothing more needed to be said.

George surprises you by pulling you in for a steaming hot kiss, without a single ounce of hesitation as you'd laid yourself bare before him, finally admitting everything you should have said at the beginning.

He pulls away suddenly with a look of pure mischief in his eyes.

"If you wanted to date me you could have just asked, didn't need to trick me into marrying you," he snarks and you instantly gasp and hit him in the chest as he laughs at you.

"I didn't trick you! You needed me to marry you for the business!"

"Hmmmm sure," he says, still smiling as he kisses you again, his hand cupping your jaw as the kiss heats up once again, though this time it's much more playful and teasing. "I'll let you tell our grandkids that."

"Pppft tell them yourself," you snark as he pulls you closer to him, identical grins on both of your faces.

"Oh I will," he smirks once he's got you pretty much in his lap, an impressive feat considering your rather restrictive dress. "Wait."

He shifts you slightly until you're beside him on the sofa again and he moves to stand up from the couch before kneeling down in front of you, on one knee.

"I realise we've done this completely out of sync here but I have loved you for so long, never thinking I'd ever get to be with you in my wildest dreams. Would you do me the honour of being my wife, wholly and completely?"

You surge forward even before he'd finished talking and sweep him into a breathtaking kiss, your hands reaching up into his hair and across his shoulders as he clutches at your waist. When you pull away, you're both in complete bliss, smiling at each other like fools as you catch your breath.

"I'm so glad, because I couldn't keep my hands off you for one more minute, look at you baby, so beautiful," he says, voice dropping lower as his eyes wash over you and your slightly dishevelled dress. His hands sneak back around your waist and around your jaw after pulling your hair away from your shoulder, lips crashing down onto yours, ready to claim you anew as his wife.

Taglist requests

@ferntv

@aigowen

@that-lame-ghoul9000

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[sitp-recs]

I love when Draco learns truths about Harry, like the DH hunt, or the cupboard under the stairs. I love when Harry learns truths about Draco, like what magically society is really about. [And, guilty pleasure, I especially love a bit of Dumbledore thruthing]. Any recs for when either of them gets a moment of epiphany?

Hello friend! That’s such an interesting trope, I love seeing their dynamics evolve like that. I did a list for “Draco finds out about the Dursleys” here and I tried to think of fics where Harry gets into contact with Old Magic or Pureblood traditions through Draco. I’d love to see if anyone has more recs for this theme!

In Which Harry is Magnetic North and Draco Is An Idiot by bryoneybrynn (T, 14k)

For as long as he can remember, Draco’s been bringing fake dates to his family’s annual Yuletide celebration in order to evade his mother’s matchmaking. This year, Potter’s posing as his pretend boyfriend. But as the party gets underway, it gets unclear who’s playing who, who’s pretending what, who’s not pretending at all, and what the game really is. Confused? Yeah, so is Draco…

The Courting by the Pureblood Who Only Has Five Milligrams of Romantic Intelligence and Thinks He’s Real Smooth by cibee (T, 19k)

Draco could grab Potter and shove him into a stall before proceeding to suck his soul out of his dick, but secretly, deep down, in the part of Draco that he will never admit to anyone, he is (everyone pauses to shudder) a romantic. Potter is not someone Draco wants a one-off with. Potter is — Draco’s beloved!

House Proud by astolat (M, 23k)

His house liked Draco Malfoy more than him.

The Nobility of Ascent by Lomonaaeren (E, 27k)

Not even his own fame and power are enough to get the Wizengamot to pass laws protecting Muggleborn and orphaned children, so Harry swallows his pride and goes to Draco Malfoy, who can teach him how to convince the prejudiced old bastards to listen to him.

There's a Pure-Blood Custom For That by Lomonaaeren (M, 105k)

The day that Harry stops Draco Malfoy and his son from being bothered in the middle of Diagon Alley starts a strange series of interactions between him and Malfoy. Who knew there was a pure-blood custom for every situation?

Shibboleths by zeitgeistic (E, 109k)

Muggle Immersion co-Professor Harry Potter spends his days hanging with his son, reading to his "dog," teaching magical kids about the internet with his cousin Dudley, and irritating Snape’s portrait. He’s understandably annoyed when his cosy life is interrupted by the Headmistress hiring on Draco Malfoy to be Hogwarts’ new Ancient Magical Cultures and Spellcasting professor.

Never Grow a Fishbone by shanastoryteller (T, 123k)

Draco returns to Hogwarts. He has a duty to his blood and his name and his house, and he will fulfill it.

Oath Breaker by GoblinCatKC (T, 181k)

At the start of seventh year, the Malfoys perform a dramatic double-cross against the dark lord and Draco educates Harry in an old school of magic. With a wild dragon chase, narrow escapes and an unlikely romance as Draco is forced to reveal to a hostile wizarding world that the Malfoy family is dark.

[expectopatronum18]

I feel like Narcissa Malfoy is rather overhyped(when she isn't being forgotten completely) as a character. She is the perfect example of 'the aristocratic wife' until the real world hits her in the face (and even then it takes a while).

Coz in the books she doesn't do shit. We have no indication that she has any sort of job(not that she'd need one). You could say she raised Draco but I don't count that because she did such a bad job at it; Draco turned out to be a spoilt, entitled bully (tho ofc Lucius equally shares the blame for this). She was pretty, came from money and a respectable family, and had no real valuable contribution of her own (unlike bellatrix who had the first 2 things too but was voldemort's right hand DE). Lucius has a constant presence in the books, we see different ways in which he subtly exercises his power and influence (ranging from donations to cozy up to fudge to threatening the other board governors that he'll curse their families if the don't remove dumbledore from the position of headmaster), plus his whole arc from one of voldemort's most trusted DEs (he was entrusted with a horcrux) to the pathetic situation we see him in in DH. Narcissa, however, has nothing of this sort. She's briefly introduced during the Qudditch world cup, not mentioned at all in book 5, and is an absolute dumbass in book 6.

Ik tht last one is controversial, but i was with bellatrix the whole time, coming to snape was fucking stupid. I get tht she thought he was on their side, especially considering he was with the DEs during the first war too, but y tf would u trust a double agent? Him convincingly answering all of bellatrix's questions means nothing, its obvious that he'll hv similarly tailored answers for dumbledore. I get that she was terrified and desperate, but it always struck me as odd that she never volunteered to take her 16 y/o son's place to get the task done (or at least we don't get any mention of this, and at any rate i don't think voldy wud hv oblidged considering this was punishment for lucius's failures), or if she already knew that this wasn't a viable option, she doesn't even try to help him out herself. Instead she runs straight to snape and weeps on his floor. This is so unlike, say, lily, who stood in btw her baby boy and voldemort. Mind u, the whole thing worked out only because dumbledore put on the ring and was going to die in a yr, she got lucky( imo this is lyk remus getting lucky with keeping sirius being an animagus as a secret coz he didn't turn out to be a mass murderer after all). U couldn't even say she was using snape too because she's clearly too distraught in tht scene to be doing any kind of manipulation. It all falls on the shoulder of her 16 y/o son to keep his family safe from voldemort.

She doesn't do anything throughout book 7 until the very end, where she lies to voldemort just to know if her son's alive or not, which inadvertently leads to voldemort being defeated by harry. This is only thing of substance she does in the entire series(and likewise i ll give her the credit, it was ballsy asf). As much as i appreciate her for what she did in the end, i think the fact that it took her roughly 40 years to do something of value is heavily ignored.

[unhinged-romione]

Hullo there! I've had really bad Romione brainrot for the past six years and as a result, I present to you a bunch of fics!

I mainly write Romione missing moments, but I also have a lotta AUs (Muggle and otherwise), steamy post-war one-shots, and a gen ficlet featuring the incomparable ✨Luna Lovegood ✨

And without further ado... *sweeping hand motions*

Series'

Mine (T): 6-chap 6th year AU where Romione got together and Hinny takes things to the next level. Hermione and Ginny are kinda hoe-y in this and I love it 🤪 WIP - but Romione part is COMPLETE

"What If" Romione Kisses (T): anthology of seven one-shots, one for each year, answering the question, “What if Ron and Hermione had kissed earlier?” COMPLETE

Let's Go (T but prolly will change to M): Muggle AU of Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley meeting one magical night at a pub during their final year of uni. WIP

One-Shots

Ocean Eyes (G/T): Hermione demands that Ron explain the meaning behind his Christmas gift in OotP.

moving into me (T): Yule Ball Romione starring transmasculine Ron 🙂🏳️‍⚧️

Before Daybreak (T): flash fic of Romione in a secret relationship during DH

Virgo's Groove (T): the festivities in Shell Cottage when Lupin announces Teddy's birth get a bit out of hand. Also, Ron and Hermione talk about babies…and what it takes to make babies.

Stand Still (G/T): ever wonder what was going through Hermione's mind when she asked Ron to Slughorn's Party? I did a lil take on it!

Say Yes To Heaven (G/T): Romione's dance during Bill and Fleur's wedding.

Hermione Granger & The Baronet's Son (G): A lil Bridgerton-inspired Regency AU I wrote for the 2024 @romione-masquerade!

Shameless Smut

All post war. All rated E (obvi).

Dive: Hermione finds a particular book that Ron hoped she would never know about. But what happens next is more than he could have ever bargained for.

Moment: Romione's first time.

lips slightly parted: a collection of probably mostly unrelated horny Romione drabbles and flash fics. Title is a reference to the brief moment in canon when Hermione was stuck in her fight-or-fuck response when Ron came back in DH.

Gen Fics

What in God's name is the Umgubular Slashkilter? (G): missing Hogsmeade 5th year moment post Harry's interview with Rita Skeeter.

[rickktish]

Some unsolicited Harry Potter Thoughts and Headcanons

Ron Weasley is one of my favorite characters. Ron Weasley should have died from the poison in Slughorn's office when he was 16 so that y'all would treat him with the respect he deserves instead of shitting on him and replacing him with Draco in Leather Pants.

The entire reason Dumbledore is so fucked up actually has nothing to do with his sordid past; it comes from the (Doylist) fact that he was a plot device in a children's book until the main characters (and thus the audience) got old enough that it needed to become a YA series, and then had to find ways to justify is plot device-ness after being magically transformed into a character. The justification did not succeed.

Harry and Ginny were fine as a ship. Not spectacular, but fine. But if the series had come out 10-20 years later than it did I would be frothing at the mouth that Harry ended up with Ron's sister instead of Ron.

Draco Malfoy was a victim of circumstance in that he was raised by racists to be a racist. Draco Malfoy did not change his mind about his racism by the end of the series, but he did change his mind about the cult leader his parents had raised him to worship, and he deserves credit for that. Do not give him credit for what we do not have evidence of him doing, namely becoming not racist. No one in his family did that. Don't pretend that they did just to make them look shinier.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all bad friends at different points in the series, but as far as I can recall only Harry and Hermione exhibited actively toxic behavior. Ron had his disagreement with Hermione in book 3 and with Harry in book 4, but he had valid points in PoA (owner of a pet is responsible for that pet's actions) and was operating under false assumptions which he clearly communicated in GoF ("I thought you might've told me if it was the Cloak... because it wouldn't covered both of us, wouldn't it? But you found another way, did you?") before getting his head out of his ass ("Harry," he said, very seriously, "whoever put your name in that goblet -- I -- I reckon they're trying to do you in!") Followed by a sincere apology, interrupted though it was ("Ron opened his mouth uncertainly. Harry knew Ron was about to apologize and suddenly found he didn't need to hear it. "It's okay," he said, before Ron could get the words out. "Forget it." |"No," said Ron, "I shouldn't've--"| "Forget it," Harry said. Ron grinned nervously at him, and Harry grinned back.) Ron also apologized after leaving in DH. If anyone can remember a single instance of either Harry or Hermione apologizing to Ron for something they did that was wrong or for direct harm rather than accidental harm they've done, would you please add it to this post? I'm hoping it's just been too long since I did an in-depth read of the series and I've forgotten something, because I genuinely can't remember a time and I haven't been successful in locating one by my cursory searches through my ebook editions. I would genuinely like to be wrong about this, please and thank you.

I believe with my whole soul that the reason Dumbledore didn't get Sirius out of prison was because he was having Grindelwald flashbacks. Person I trusted with my whole soul turned out to be pro-enslavement/genocide? Person my students trusted with their magically concealed location appears to have turned out to be pro-Voldemort (and everything he uses to justify his pursuit of power)? He literally did not believe any doubts he might have held about Sirius' guilt, because he hasn't trusted his own judgement since he was 18 and his little sister died. also he 1) canonically did not know that Sirius wasn't the secret keeper and 2) probably did not know that Sirius never had a trial, so there's also that.

Harry and Ron 100% should have gone to the Yule Ball together. I would forgive their not ending up together so long as they had gone and had a fantastic time. Unfortunately, GoF was written in 2000, and we missed out for it.

Hermione would be an emotionally (and potentially physically) abusive spouse to Ron, not because I feel any need to put her down or bash her in any way, but because she wasn't willing to tell him that she was into him and instead conjured birds to attack him when she caught him kissing another girl. I think with time, effort, and a decent dose of humility, they could work it out, but at some point their kids are going to be chatting with friends and reveal the most casually fucked up shit about their parents' relationship to someone who's going to look utterly horrified and poor Rose and Hugo will have no idea why because to them it will be completely normal.

Childhood is thinking Dumbledore is the good guy and Snape is the bad guy. Angsty teenhood is thinking Snape is the good guy and Dumbledore "raised Harry like a pig for slaughter." Maturity is realizing that Snape did good things for really fucked up reasons like "I'm obsessed with the woman whose husband and child I would have seen killed so I could have another chance to get in her pants but unfortunately she's dead so I guess I have to keep her child who I hate alive" while also actively causing (directed) severe harm to the children under his care, and that Dumbledore did fucked up things for some good reasons like "I can't let this person who tortured animals as a child and committed murder in his teens destroy the world" and for some bad reasons like "I would literally die right now but unfortunately I have shit to do" (I honestly think everyone somehow missed the fact that Dumbledore was suicidal?? in spite of the fact that he committed assisted suicide?? I'm not quite sure how, but I suspect it has something to do with the woobification of Snape, so. there's that) while also causing (mostly indirect) moderate to severe harm to all who were in his care including, but not limited to, the government officials who asked him for advice, the staff and children at the school he ran, and his own family. The essential difference comes because Snape acted as he did toward others because he hated the world and everything in it, especially children, whereas Dumbledore acted as he did toward others because he couldn't make up his mind whether or not the ends justified the means and his life was entirely defined by the practice of both intentional and unintentional self-sabotage.

This absolutely might be giving Rowling too much credit, but I grew up with fairy tales of goblins who stole and guarded gold and didn't learn that goblins were a racist caricature based in antisemitism until I was in my late teens or early twenties by reading a post about how writing goblins as bankers meant that Rowling is antisemitic. I also genuinely didn't believe it at first, because I grew up in a culture that reveres Judaism and the Jewish people as God's chosen and the source for the foundation of mankind's relationship with God, and I had to seriously work to believe that the slightly goofy, slightly gross fairy tale creature I was familiar with could have such a disgusting connotation. I strongly suspect that Rowling herself had no idea until she started being accused of racism, at which point she pulled her classic schtick and doubled down, radicalizing rather than being open to being told she might be wrong. Sometimes you grow up with something being so normal and part of the regular zeitgeist that it never occurs to you that it could have its origins in racism. (I experienced this myself recently from a post about the origin of the popularity of private pools in the US, which I always thought were just a rich people status symbol. Even though I've known about the issue of pool discrimination since my mom, who attended a formerly black-only middle school in Alabama as a child, read me picture books about it when I was in elementary school, I didn't put it together until I read the post.) The quality of your character is determined then by how you respond to the criticism rather than whether or not you knew before the accusations began. The end result is the same, but I feel like holding her responsible for knowledge we have no way of telling if she knew before she started being accused of having it is bad-faith criticism, and I'd much rather hold her accountable for wrongs I know she's committed rather than ones I can only speculate about.

Dudley Dursley deserved his redemption. He grew up with the rule "Don't be like Harry" and figured out by the end of the series that Harry was a person, which is better than either of his parents managed. I honestly think a good dose of the real world-- maybe university or something-- would give him the foundation he would need to separate himself from his parents' beliefs and become a halfway decent human being. I wish the best for Dudley Dursley.

Neville Longbottom deserved better. In every possible way.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hi! Really enjoyed the Harry is gay post, very well researched! Are there any other characters in the series you would also think are gay? Don't wanna say anyone just yet, just want your unfiltered opinion

Hi!

Thank you so much!

Can't say I have other characters I feel as strongly about their sexual preferences. A large part of it is what Harry chooses to pay attention to. So, I don't have much evidence for anyone else, but I can say who I think is likelier to be gay (or at least not straight) from textual evidence. Some of them go into headcanon territory, but here they are, off the top of my head and in no particular order:

1. Dumbledore and Grindelwald

I'm pretty sure these two are canon, so I don't need to say much. But:

“Yes, even after they’d spent all day in discussion—both such brilliant young boys, they got on like a cauldron on fire—I’d sometimes hear an owl tapping at Gellert’s bedroom window, delivering a letter from Albus! An idea would have struck him, and then he had to let Gellert know immediately!”

(DH, pages 308-309)

Gellert— .... (This was your mistake at Durmstrang! But I do not complain, because if you had not been expelled, we would never have met.) Albus

(DH, pages 309)

“Grindelwald. And at last, my brother had an equal to talk to someone just as bright and talented he was. And looking after Ariana took a backseat then, while they were hatching all their plans for a new Wizarding order and looking for Hallows, and whatever else it was they were so interested in.

(DH, pages 480)

2. Sirius Black

I think Sirius might've been gay, or at least bi. It goes into headcanon territory, but I think Sirius used to be in love with James. He just always gave me that vibe. (I don't think they were ever a thing, I think Sirius took his feelings for James with him to his grave).

Here are some quotes that gave me the feeling Sirius is not interested in anyone but James:

Harry saw Sirius give James the thumbs-up. Sirius was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs. He was very good-looking; his dark hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance neither James’s nor Harry’s could ever have achieved, and a girl sitting behind him was eyeing him hopefully, though he didn’t seem to have noticed.

(OOTP, page 642)

“He kept messing up his hair,” said Harry in a pained voice. Sirius and Lupin laughed. “I’d forgotten he used to do that,” said Sirius affectionately.

(OOTP, page 670)

Plus, Sirius' general fixation on James and his constant reminiscence about him. And the two-way mirror they made just for them cause they couldn't handle an hour apart in detention:

This is a two-way mirror. I’ve got the other. If you need to speak to me, just say my name into it; you’ll appear in my mirror and I’ll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions.

(OOTP, page 858)

But we don't really know about any romantic interests Sirius may have had. So, it's more of a headcanon than anything.

3. Dean Thomas

I think Dean Thomas is bi (not gay, I think he did like Ginny). And I have only one qoute evidence for it, but it's a really funny one and I don't think I've seen anyone mention it so I'll put it here:

He certainly wasn’t the only one who was sorry to see Professor Lupin go. The whole of Harry’s Defense Against the Dark Arts class was miserable about his resignation. “Wonder what they’ll give us next year?” said Seamus Finnigan gloomily. “Maybe a vampire,” suggested Dean Thomas hopefully.

(POA, page 429)

Dean Thomas clearly read whatever 1990s version of Twilight that exists in the HP universe and wants a love triangle paranormal romance with a werewolf and a vampire.

4. Draco Malfoy

I think he was a little too obsessed with Harry. Like, I don't actually ship Drarry, but I can definitely confess Draco was way too interested in Harry for it to not appear a little gay.

He rummaged in his trunk up in the luggage rack and pulled out the miniature figure of Viktor Krum. “Oh wow,” said Neville enviously as Ron tipped Krum onto his pudgy hand. “We saw him right up close, as well,” said Ron. “We were in the Top Box —” “For the first and last time in your life, Weasley.” Draco Malfoy had appeared in the doorway. Behind him stood Crabbe and Goyle, his enormous, thuggish cronies, both of whom appeared to have grown at least a foot during the summer. Evidently they had overheard the conversation through the compartment door, which Dean and Seamus had left ajar. “Don’t remember asking you to join us, Malfoy,” said Harry coolly.

(GOF, page 168)

Draco literally comes to find Harry on the train, uninvited, every year (except 6th). Throughout their time at school, he also makes an active effort to seek out Harry to a level that is kind of ridiculous. It always looked to me like Draco was desperate for any sort of attention from Harry.

Harry looked down at the hawthorn wand that had once belonged to Draco Malfoy. He had been surprised, but pleased to discover that it worked for him at least as well as Hermione’s had done.

(DH, page 444)

Considering how loyal unicorn hair wands like Draco's are, it seems Dravo feels more friendly about Harry than he likes to pretend.

5. Aunt Muriel

It sounds weird, I know, but I have a reason here. So, Muriel is from the same generation as Dumbledore, more or less, from her words in DH. And we know, back then she had expectations to marry and have children as a (seemingly) pure-blood witch. Those expectations would've been prevalent when she was a young woman in the early 20th century, even among the less blood-purist families.

The fact that she didn't seem to have settled down with a husband and children implies she wasn't interested in doing so. This allows a reading of her as either interested in women or not interested in sex or marriage in general.

6. Alphard Black & Cassiopeia Black

For the same reasons as Muriel. Neither Cassiopeia (born 1915) nor Alphard, Sirius' godfather (born circa 1927-ish) married or had children. This is something that would be expected of them, so the reading of them as not straight is very plausible.

So, that's it. These are all the characters that off the top of my head I could give textual evidence for a not straight reading of. I don't have as much evidence, and that's why I consider this more headcanon than theory. Obviously, people can headcanon wherever, these are just the ones that I could recall evidence for.

[blorger]

I just read a hot take vis à vis the Hermione vs Marietta situation that I seriously disagree with but i didn't want to start shit in someone else's reblogs because, at the end of the day, a difference in opinions on a pair of fictional characters in a deeply flawed book series is not exactly something worth being a dick to literal strangers about. Also, their interpretation is just as valid as mine.

That said, here are my Thoughts:

Generally, the prevailing fandom opinions on Hermione's cursing of Marietta in book five are diametrically opposed: some people use it to highlight Hermione's ruthlessness and occasional cruelty (and how it's often excused by the narrative) whereas other people view Marietta to be completely at fault (there's a war going on and she's behaving cowardly). What I see, however, is the clash of two very different realities that have been incongruously coexisting during OotP.

A major theme of OotP is the magical world's unwillingness to acknowledge the fact that Voldemort is back. Most of the students at Hogwarts either don't believe he's back or see this as an abstract problem, something for the adults to worry about. Even the DA is not actually preparing to be an army; they become one at the very end of the book by pure happenstance, when Neville, Luna and Ginny join the golden trio at the dept. of mysteries.

Hermione, by virtue of being near Harry since book 1, is aware of the reality of the situation but someone like Marietta isn't so she's worried about the now, the present implications regarding her family. There's this great quote from Maya's If You've a Ready Mind that's stuck with me for years and explains this perfectly:

(for context: here Ravenclaw! Draco is challenging his friend Hermione on her actions and, by doing so, makes her realise that Marietta did what she did because she didn't view the situation with the same gravity as Hermione)

To Hermione it's already a war but to Marietta its' still just school: Marietta is just a child who's worried about her mother's job and, in weighing that against a banned afterschool activity, decides to give priority to what she sees as the most pressing and real problem. The fact that her worldview and Hermione's differ so starkly is by design: by the end of the book these two realities will have finally clashed to reveal the truth of the wizarding world's situation (they're on the precipice of a war and all that jazz).

Because JKR is JKR, we are meant to be on Hermione's side and admire her clever handling of Marietta the non-believer; the fact that she did not take the DA's secrecy with the same gravitas as our heroes is treated as a moral failing rather than a human mistake.

I find the whole subplot about the radicalisation of literal children to be distasteful; I hate how the books present the second wizarding war as something that NEEDS to be fought by children and how Dumbledore himself encourages it (see: his garbage treatment of Harry, which I'll never get over). I hate it even more when, during actual wartime, most of the resistance ends up falling on their shoulders and, in order for that to happen, the majority of adults end up behaving ineffectually (the Order) or disappointingly (Lupin).

JKR is not doing this to give some realism to the story (because children are forced to grow up too fast in wars), she's doing it because her main characters are teenagers and their heroism needs to make sense in the context of the narrative. JKR artificially created a situation that can only be solved by children and in order for that to happen said children had to be let down by all the adults in their lives.

In conclusion: I hate DH and its depiction of the wizarding war, I hate that Marietta's betrayal is depicted with the same gravitas as a wartime defection and also I hate JKR's bullshit black and white worldview.

Rant over

[seriousbrat]

vincent crabbe and gregory goyle

There are few HP characters I think are badly written, but while rereading I often feel like we could have done without Crabbe and Goyle. Or at least without one of them. They basically have no speaking lines and just "flex their muscles" a lot (I hate this lol it's so silly to me.)

To be fair, Crabbe does get more interesting in HBP/DH, when he emerges from Draco's shadow and becomes a character in his own right. And in a way Harry himself points this out in the narration-- he's surprised at the softness of Crabbe's voice because... he's basically never heard his voice in 7 years. Like alright I'll accept Crabbe's presence in the books because I do actually like the fact that he starts rebelling against Malfoy. The brief final exchange with Crabbe alone gives him a lot more depth, and it's hinted at in HBP with Crabbe starting to question Malfoy's orders. Like I think this is quite good:

All of this makes Crabbe slightly more interesting to me, but I'm pretty sure Goyle's only given character trait over 7 books is being stupid lmao. Arguably some of this lack of depth is just because Harry doesn't pay attention to them, but also it's remarkable how much more interesting Theodore Nott, who doesn't appear until OotP, seems just because of his ability to see Thestrals (also his father is more interesting than Crabbe Sr and Goyle Sr in the graveyard.) And it's weird because jkr is typically quite good at infusing very minor characters with interest and depth, even if they only have one line in the entire series (Nott's father being a good example.)

Goyle I think literally just doesn't add anything as a character. I'm a little torn about Crabbe because in a way I do think it's interesting for him to basically be a non-entity and then take Harry (and us) by surprise during their first conversation in 7 years, right before his death. So I think Crabbe would be a better character overall without Goyle dragging him down by association lol.

But anyway despite Crabbe's last hurrah, most of the time both characters are just kind of extensions of Draco, it's even stated that they "seemed to exist to do Malfoy's bidding." Pansy and even the much more minor Zabini and Nott all feel so much more dynamic. Like I said, characters who only appear for a single line are given more depth than Crabbe and Goyle who are "on screen" all the time but seem to share a non-personality, because until HBP there's almost no distinction between the two (apart from Goyle being a bit stupider.)

Honestly it seems like until HBP they're mostly there to make Malfoy more of a threat to the trio, since otherwise Ron and Harry could just pummel Draco when he got mouthy and win. I think if Malfoy's gang had just been one of them (Crabbe) and then maybe Nott as more of a sycophant type of role rather than just a thug, this would have worked much better.

I mentioned the Crabbe Sr and Goyle Sr, who are also remarkably uninteresting/blank compared to other minor Death Eaters like Nott Sr or Avery. This makes me never want to include them as Death Eaters in anything I write haha. They just "bow clumsily and mutter dully" so it feels like all we can conclude is that Crabbe Sr and Goyle Sr are just.. exactly the same as their sons but as adults, which is doubly boring because them being copies of their sons is boring but also their sons are boring to begin with. Neither family is part of the Sacred Twenty-eight, and the only mildly interesting inference I can draw here is that they were low-ranking Death Eaters, untalented, basic lackeys who deliberately encouraged their sons to suck up to Lucius Malfoy's son, which is why Vincent and Gregory dutifully followed Draco's orders for so long.

I can imagine that after Lord Voldemort's downfall, Lucius was probably the highest-ranking Death Eater to escape Azkaban, and he might have been seen as a sort of rallying point by those who believed Voldemort was gone. Natural followers like Crabbe and Goyle would have gravitated to Lucius as the new alpha lol, and I think it does add a little bit of interest if the reason why Vincent and Gregory allowed themselves to be bossed around and talked down to by Draco for so long is because they were specifically instructed or encouraged to do so as children. This also explains why Crabbe starts to rebel when Lucius loses favour after OotP.

[whinlatter]

something tells me you don't really like tonks, just a hunch xD

For the relationship ask if you're still doing it: harry and remus, molly and remus, teddy and adromeda. I would love to see what do you think <3

noooo i love tonks! i had a ball writing her and think that @evesaintyves’ rendering of her is one of fandom’s greatest gifts 😭 i just find it very funny that harry thinks she should low key get a grip. and as a clumsy young woman who should myself get a grip, i say: get off her case, hjp.

ok the remus + tonks/black extended family universe... hyped for this one. delicious choices, thank you anon. (i have a few more in the inbox i'm going to take a stab at but am trying to avoid spoilery ones or ones where i risk boring you all again by repeating old talking points, so if i don't get to one pls forgive me...)

right — to business. we begin with everybody looking at remus lupin waiting for him to put his crippling self loathing aside to write (1) singular letter to his dead friend's son:

i jest (to an extent). but i do think the entirety of harry and remus' dynamic is best encapsulated in one singular scene in PoA:

“When they get near me — ” Harry stared at Lupin’s desk, his throat tight. “I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum.” Lupin made a sudden motion with his arm as though to grip Harry’s shoulder, but thought better of it.

i know there's a very understandable move in AUs to imagine what would have happened if remus had raised harry - or, more often, if remus had been 'allowed' to raise harry by dumbledore. but looking past the whole plot-requiring-harry-to-be-at-the-dursleys thing, the truth is, canon remus lupin would never have put himself forward to raise harry, because of his own (not unfounded!) concerns about the precarity of his existence and the dangerousness of his condition. remus' sense of self - more specifically his fear of himself, and his very low self worth - consistently lead him to hold harry at arm's length from the moment he's introduced in the series until its bitter end. i don't think remus at all approves of the way harry is treated at the dursleys. but i can very much imagine that remus thinks it would still be better than the life he could have given harry if he ever had been called upon to serve as his primary caregiver. one of the most interesting implicit dynamics in the series is that harry notices this and does, to some extent, resent it (obviously the fact that he only ever calls him 'lupin' in his narration, though uses remus to his face, and also: 'Harry had received no mail since the start of term; his only regular correspondent was now dead and although he had hoped that Lupin might write occasionally, he had so far been disappointed.') while the harry & remus fight in DH is about harry's view of what remus ought to do re tonks and the baby, it’s also harry coming as close as saying to remus: you're letting your own child down like you let me down. ('I’m pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren’t sticking with your own kid, actually... He had it coming to him,” said Harry. Broken images were racing each other through his mind: Sirius falling through the veil; Dumbledore suspended, broken, in midair; a flash of green light and his mother’s voice, begging for mercy… ‘Parents,’ said Harry, 'shouldn’t leave their kids unless—unless they’ve got to.')

molly and remus: i think this is a very, very underrated relationship! i know there’s a lot of molly-bashing around these days, especially if you’re a marauders and/or sirius and/or wolfstar stan. but i think it is very very overlooked that the person who looks after adult remus the most from 1995 onwards, and who shows him some of the deepest trust and roots for his happiness, is molly. for a man who has plainly known a huge amount of financial/food/housing insecurity, and who is so villainised in wider wizarding society, it is no small gesture for molly to not only provide for remus materially but also to trust him in a house with all of her children and encourage him in a romantic relationship he struggles to feel entitled to and worthy of. (i love sirius, but he is in no fit state to ‘look after’ remus in the last year of his life, and fandom’s continued unwillingness to recognise the importance of domestic/caregiving labour as a vital contribution to the resistance will never not be problematic af). remus clearly values and admires molly in return - the only time he actually ever entertains a parent/guardianship role is when molly is weeping over her boggart, crying onto remus’ shoulder (‘what must you think of me?’) and he assures her that if anything were to happen to her and arthur, he would be a part of the team making sure her children are taken date of (‘what do you think we’d do, let them starve?’) remus’ relationship with molly is often the more mild-mannered translator of her viewpoint to others (especially others with hot tempers), and mediator trying to find middle ground between molly’s protective instincts and the battle/ready instincts of others. (more grist to my sirius & ginny parallels mill — in DH, when a fuming ginny is desperately trying to sneak off to fight in the battle, it’s remus who appeals to molly and ginny to find the compromise of ginny staying in the room of requirement to know what’s going on but not actively fight, a mirror image of his role mediating the dispute between sirius and molly over harry’s right to know what’s going on at grimmauld in ootp…) molly accepts this compromise, a sign that she trusts remus implicitly (she never frets that a werewolf is living among her children in ootp onwards, and invites him to christmas readily even after months undercover with the pack) and also feels able to call him out (‘i’ve always said you’re taking a ridiculous line on this, remus’.) this is too long but basically — justice for molly and remus, unlikely buds!

teddy and andromeda: i weirdly think a lot about teddy lupin these days. i tend to imagine teddy as a very mild-mannered, affable, calm child, like who remus might have been had he not been bitten, with tonks' heart and sociability but also with something of remus' more philosophical disposition. i think he'd slip very naturally into a big brother role because, in part, he does see himself as having a responsibility to take care of people, and i think this would shine through in his relationship with andromeda. we know teddy was raised by his gran, and i imagine she feels enormously protective of him, perhaps bordering on strict in her desire to keep him safe from the harm that came to all the rest of her family. but i like to imagine teddy didn't act out against this too much, in part because he understands where it comes from and in turn feels very protective of andromeda. growing up in the aftermath of the war would make teddy as a child particularly aware of the grief and pain and the silences among the adults around him, and i think teddy would take any compensatory protective strictness on andromeda's part with good grace, and humour her for it. i like to think teenage/young adult teddy serves as the translator for any of his gran's more prickly edges, and that they have a very close relationship that both of them really treasure.

[chaztalk]

Yes, yes I know this is hella long, so just scroll to the bottom if necessary

TLDR: I’m a Romione shipper and here’s why I don’t like Hermione

I can understand the criticisms of Hermione’s character, but this is more like “I don’t like what the particular things Hermione did” rather than actually analyzing her character. Also that last sentence in the first paragraph, you could really say about any of the Golden Trio, receiving very few consequences and actually learning from them.

Cuz the actual truth behind JKR’s writing of Hermione is a product of being JKR’s self-insert and even though, she is a main character in the series, the author doesn’t necessarily care about her because we know next to nothing about her life as a muggle, her parents, and her personality outside of magic.

And OP stated that Hermione doesn’t face consequences in the series, but that, however, is not entirely true. She turned into a half-cat after not being cautious enough/making sure that she used a human hair instead of a cat hair. She was given the silent treatment until she apologized about her cat. In OOTP, at the DoM, she was hit by a dangerous curse because she was distracted by doing a celebration mid-battle. And in HBP, she was allegedly sexually assaulted if she didn’t run away from him.

So now let’s break this analysis down:

PS- they name none of her strengths, only her “flaws”. I don’t understand how being a rule follower is really a flaw. And her. Close-mindedness comes actually later in the series (opinions about centaurs and Divination). She froze under pressure once. Being socially awkward for 11/12 year old isn’t really out of the ordinary and doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a sign of a complex character.

CoS- Hermione’s 12-13 years old. It’s normal to develop a crush on someone, regardless on who the actually person they have a crush on are.

The one positive most people give Hermione is that she’s book smart. So I don’t understand how it’s hard to believe Hermione was able to brew polyjuice potion when you just have to read the steps to make it.

And even though, she figured out the mystery, she didn’t win a thing unlike Harry and Ron.

“Ron’s influence is working”. What? How come they never elaborate on things like this?

PoA- I also don’t understand the claim that most people would side with Hermione in the Crookshanks/Scabbers fiasco. Harmione shippers and Hermione stans are in the minority here.

GoF- Now this is just someone pissed off that someone else was interested in Hermione and Hermione decided to go with him instead of Ron

A character flaw in Krum? He can’t hold a conversation with a girl.

OOTP- Hermione’s “snipy” towards Ron because he’s a terrible prefect that gets easily walked all over by his twin brothers who are the biggest rule breakers (and possibly because she wanted Harry to be prefects with her instead of Ron 😃)

HBP- or how about feeling empathy for both instead of one over the other. Like this: “I understand why Hermione attacked Ron because it was one of the times her emotions controlled her. But that’s no excuse for the attack when Ron is kissing another girl when they aren’t together”. Not hard. And it’s why Ron and Hermione are incompatible imo.

DH- she does 90% of the preparations for the hunt because Mrs Weasley made it hard for the Trio to work together. And Hermione is no doubt the brains of the group.

“She rescues them from the ministry”. And Splinched Ron in the process, no? So, wouldn’t really say she’s perfect under pressure.

The most crucial one is Hermione staying with Harry and Ron leaving. What do you want her to do? Also leave? She’s a muggleborn, and muggles are being murdered left and right by DEs.

In conclusion, Hermione doesn’t have an arc. An arc to me is an obstacle a character has that builds character development in them. No Harry Potter character has that kind of arc.

I’ll be waiting for the “Ron’s a disappointing character” analysis post, with it just being complaints about how the “narrative” hates Ron lol

[greenerteacups]

I think I've seen you mention in previous asks that you didn't really like aspects (or possibly the whole thing) of DH. I'm curious if you could expound more on that? Was it the horcrux hunting? The hallows themselves? Did you think the final battle came too quickly? What did you want to see when you read it the first time? And looking back as an adult what ways do you think DH should have been altered?

I've always found DH has too many plot holes.... Almost like it tried to wrap itself up too quickly. When I was reading the books as a kid I actually thought there'd be more than 7 books. Like there'd be a least one more since the war began and ended rather quickly when the first wizarding war seemed to go on for years.

To make a long story short, I don't like DH because it's not a war story, and Books 5 and 6 read like the setups for a war story. They are books packed with espionage and spycraft, flareups of violence, and are simmering with tension. In contrast, most of DH is spent camping in a forest, far away from anywhere that the Death Eaters or the main battle could have been. The Order has vanishingly little to do and the friends that we spent the last 6 books making and learning to care about vanish until the last act, where half of them die in a big battle that only happens because Harry needs to find the last horcrux.

And the thing is, horcruxes are a great plot mechanic for the final book, because they give you discrete milestones that count down to the final battle. They also clearly establish why you can't just rock up and fight Voldemort the old-fashioned way, i.e., why the Order needs to run defense for most of the book. What they don't explain is why the Order isn't then a much bigger part of the horcrux hunt, because by all accounts, Harry's first move should be to tell them what's up with Voldemort and how they can help, including — especially!— if Harry and the Trio happen to die, in which case the only knowledge of how to kill Voldemort would die with him. This is the nightmare scenario, and I cannot think of a counterfactual risk attached to telling the Order that would outweigh the danger of this happening. But I could honestly tolerate plot holes if it weren't for the thematic problem — if the story is about love and familial sacrifice, why do we spend 75% of the last book completely disconnected from the found-family that Harry built? Why are the Weasleys gone? Where is Ginny? Where is Molly? Where is Lupin?

The book really should have been called "Harry Potter and the Last Horcrux," in my opinion. The Hallows are red herrings, and they're used more as excuses to set up nice scenes/moments than they ever are as mechanics that fully integrate into the world. The ring gives Harry the ability to talk to his parents before the final sacrifice, which is a nice touch, and it explains why his Invisibility Cloak is so OP, but (and I've complainted about this before, but TLDR) the Elder Wand stuff makes no sense except as a buff for Harry in the final battle to explain how he beats Voldemort in a 1v1. Which, fine, but it opens up more questions than it ties off: how does it work? What does this mean for wand ownership? Is it actually possible for a wand to be "unbeatable"? Also, why do wands respond to fucking monkey-in-the-middle rules? If you hand your wand to someone, does that count as disarming? Etc., etc. And it also weakens the final battle of the series, which should be about Harry as a person triumphing over Voldemort because he was capable of doing something Voldemort never could, i.e., fully and willingly sacrificing himself for another person (or people). You have a soft magic system! You don't need to invent these weird rules of wand ownership to give Harry the W here! There's so much more that could have been done with this!

So. To leave a long story long, I was disappointed with Deathly Hallows. It wasn't bad, in that there were no decisions I thought were galling or egregious breaks with someone's character, and nothing happened that ruined what came before; but there was a ton of missed potential, and that's why I still kvetch about it all these years later.